Every leader has multiple stories of things they’d do differently. Here’s one of mine.
A while back, I received some pointed feedback after a decision I made. It wasn’t anonymous, and it wasn’t vague. It was direct—and it hit me hard.
I took it personally.
- I got defensive.
- I replayed it over and over in my mind.
- I let it color how I viewed that person—and myself—for weeks.
Looking back, I regret not handling it with more humility and clarity.
1. Taking Criticism Personally Clouded My Judgment
Instead of hearing what they were saying, I heard what I feared.
- That I wasn’t a good leader
- That I wasn’t enough
- That I had failed
When insecurity leads the meeting, wisdom rarely gets a word in.
2. Not All Criticism Is Destructive—Some Is a Gift
There was truth in what they said. But I couldn’t see it at the time.
- Feedback stings when you haven’t anchored your identity in Christ
- Honest words from trusted voices can be a mirror—not a weapon
- Leaders grow when they listen, not when they react
It wasn’t easy to admit. But it changed the way I receive input now.
3. I’ve Learned to Listen Without Losing Myself
Now, I pause before responding.
- I ask: Is there something true here I need to see?
- I check my motives before defending myself
- I try to thank the person—even when it’s hard to hear
Criticism doesn’t have to define you. But it can refine you.
Final Thoughts
You won’t get every interaction right. But you can choose how you grow from it.
If you’ve taken something too personally in leadership, you’re not alone. Just don’t let that moment lead you. Let it shape you.
Your leadership gets stronger every time you choose humility over insecurity—and truth over defensiveness.
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